Bridal Shower Cost - Buyer Experiences and Price Information

In response to everyone's post....Yes it is an honor to be considered a Bridesmaids. But a bridesmaid should also be chosen by the bride because she considers this person a special person. And therefore, it should be an honor for the bride to have her close friends with her. A bride should have an idea of her friends' financial constraints and should let them know, in advance, what her expectations are as far as type of showers, bachelorette party, etc. Etiquette states Maid of Honor pay for wedding shower. If she needs to ask for financial assistance (which these days is normal) from the bridesmaids, she needs to keep the cost at a minimum. I had no idea I would be having to pay $400 for a dress,$100 for a catered bridal shower, and $300 for bachelorette party (for one day only, in town).

I think that spending a large amount of money on just the shower is out of this world ridiculous. It should be about being surrounded by loved ones and receiving gifts to honor your upcoming marriage...not expensive luncheon's with open bar and lavish decor.....its not the wedding its just the bridal shower!!!! When did it become a second wedding? And why should the bridesmaids be responsible for paying for such a thing. And to the idiots who badmouthed people who don't decline invites to be in the bridal party due to financial difficulties - you obviously have very few brain cells capable of thinking outside the box for a second to know that it isn't that cut and dry!

The bridesmaids are planning to host a shower for $15 per person, with invites, followed with prizes, brides gift, and favors. I have been in a wedding before (another out of state wedding) which didn't cost this much. I have never been to a shower where bridesmaids had to pay for a luxury luncheon at a resturant. Where I come from (in the south), close relatives hosted it at the house which made it feel intimate and informal. I can't believe by the time I am done paying for hotels, dress accessories, gifts, travel, etc. that I'll be maxed out in credit card debt! Weddings today get too out of hand!

My daughter and I just attended the daughter of a friend (not a real close one but a friend) this past Sunday. The shower was held at a banquet hall. It was a sit down luncheon with 6 courses, there were waiters walking around with trays of mixed drinks. There was red and white one on each table. A three tier cake. 2 tables full of Italian pastries and clear containers in which all the quests were told to fill and take home with us. On the way out the door the bride to be handed us each a lovely pink box decorated with a printed thank you note from her. I had no idea that I would be attending such an elaborate affair for a wedding shower. My envelope contribution which I felt was more than fair for a shower gift left me feeling nassiated the rest of the evening. My daughter says she felt the same. This friend used to send a joke or two daily and I have not heard from her. Should I call her? Should I offer more money at least to cover what my daughter and I ate? I feel so sick inside. I should also mention the bride is italian and she is marrying an italian. Also, the printed shower invitation said Monetary gifts preferred. So i knew to give a card with money.

I planned for 30 because there were so many maybes. I did it at my house and spent nearly $300 on an amazing cake, fruit basket, small sandwiches, pickles and chips. Also had spiked lemonade and drinks and spent $65 on drinks. I made favors myself and those are not included in the cost. I bought dollar store decorations and balloons. $26 per person if planning for 22 people, $19 pp if all 30 showed up. I planned it by myself and then split costs with mother-in-law and my Mom.

I'm the maaitron of honor in a wedding and 1/2 the wedding party is absolutely crazy! First the total spent includes a catered lunch which the mother of the bride insisted on paying. Each bridesmaid was only asked to pitch in $90. From the start they were non-responsive and univolved. They finally chimed in about 2 weeks before hand. Now of course I just kept the ball rolling with what I was doing because I wasn't going to let them ruin this day for my friend of 10 years. When they did chime in I sent a list of a few minor items still outstanding which they picked from. After the shower I sent receipts and info for all the other items such the tent rental, decorations, cake, favors etc and I got - I never agreed to pay you any $$ and I will not pay you any $$.

I will admit I shouldn't have assumed that they knew what proper etiquette is but how about offering something. THEY SUCK!

I am actually the bride and I asked each of my 7 girls if they could afford my wedding and overpriced shower (coordinated NOT hosted by my mother--the control freak) I am not in a financial place to afford much these days but I offered to help the girls and even pay for their dresses if need be. One of my bridesmaids can't afford to pay for the shower and this is understood. I am grateful to have such wonderful friends who knows their friendship is much more important to me than money! *I did have 2 friends choose not to be in the weddign due to finances and they did not want me to pay their part so they gracefully bowed out which I totally respect them for!

CHICAGO-- I totally agree with you! When you are asked to be apart of such a special day it is an honor. There is nothing worse than cheap being the theme of any event! Above all else, leave the bride alone! It should be a surprise- a nice surprise!
Also, I'm glad to see Cookie from RI, crumbled!

It's true, when you agree to be in a wedding you have to expect to shell out a little money- but often the dress and shoes and travel expenses to the wedding already strain the attendants enough. My MOH threw me a beautiful shower at her home, in her average sized backyard. She rented a tent, tables and chairs, but made all the food herself and decorated beautifully. She didn't charge the other girls in the party money but asked them to bring balloons or flowers. Granted, not everyone has the time or inclination to cook and host at their home, but there are other options. What's most important is celebrating this time in the bride and groom's life, not showing off with luxurious extravagances. I preferred to have my good friends stand up with me on my wedding day with a few bucks left in their pockets and happy to be there instead of insisting on people doing things they couldn't afford. Trust me, what you remember is the fun you had, not what type of favors you gave out or that you had the most expensive flower in your centerpiece.

Why cant people work together and consider all the aspects involved before saying yes to stand up? Everyone wants to be in the pretty dress and be an "oh so special" maid of honor but then when it comes down to everything else that this honor entails, they complain and freak out and seriously upset the bride, groom and the other bridemaids! Then they do things cheaply and its embarrassing. Ladies, think about this BEFORE you say yes and if you cant afford it, decline politely and just be a good guest and enjoy the festivities.

Hello,

I recently had to step down as maid of honor due to the financial costs of the shower that the maitron of honor had accumulated. I first off have to mention that when I was asked to be in the wedding, I was not told that I would be the maid of honor in addition to the existing maitron of honor. This was mentioned to me in a casual manner later on. Is it common for there to be both?
7 months before the wedding, the maitron of honor had estimated the costs to be around $300 per bride's maid (of which there are 6), and this would not include all of the details to complete the event. I was told that the bride was expecting something "big". The guest list was being estimated at 40-50 people. Is this normal? When all is said and done, I estimated a total of $400 to be a part of this bridal party. Due to a difficult and demanding financial year, I was not prepared for the financial responsibilites of the shower. And so I had to step down, or not pay a few bills. Was I wrong in doing so?